Leadership

Yes, you.

There’s a problem again. You know the one. The one that everyone is whispering about. The one that no one can figure out how to solve. The one that is keeping everyone up at night.

You’ve got an idea about it, but you’re pretty sure that your idea is stupid. Just plain dumb. I mean, it will never work, right? So you’ve kept it to yourself. Cause, come on, what do you have to offer?

But here’s the honest truth: The probability that a white knight is going to ride into your school/office/house on a winged horse holding a magical wand forged from fairy dust in an enchanted volcano and instantly vaporize your problem is, to be frank, pretty slim. It sounds great, and I’m all for it, but I’m guessing it isn’t going to happen.

If there’s a hero in your story, it’s going to have to be you.

You can do it.

Why you need to say what needs to be said.

You’ve been there. You’re sitting in a meeting, or in class, or at lunch with some friends. And someone says something that is so obviously wrong, incorrect, ignorant, predujiced, anecdotal, off-base, or just otherwise ridiculous that you stop chewing and drop your jaw. You glance over at the person next to you and it is clear that she feels the same way you do. And you wait for a second, because someone is obviously going to disagree, right? Somebody is going to tactfully but firmly say, “Well, wait a second, I’m not sure I agree with that.”

You wait for a second or two, but the first person just keeps on talking. No one interrupts. No one disagrees. Everyone leaves wondering, “Wow, am I surrounded by idiots and cowards? And am I an idiot and coward too?”

There’s something on your mind that you probably need to say today. Telling someone that you love them; telling someone you’re sorry; telling someone that their great idea is neat but probably too risky; telling someone that you like them as a person but you can’t agree with their viewpoint. 

Speaking that thought to power is going to be difficult. But would you rather face that challenge this morning and say what needs to be said, or face yourself in the mirror tonight knowing that you let the chance to be yourself pass for one more day?

You have something valuable to say. No one hears it until you say it. 

Great news! We made it really complicated!

I’ve been reminded a few times this past week that complexity is overrated. I love big Excel models and rambling blog posts as much as the next guy, but most of the time people just need us to make things easier to follow. 

Years ago I read A Fan’s Notes by Frederick Exley. It’s a modern classic, although not a happy read by any stretch of the imagination. Exley is a tortured soul trying to find his way; he’s rather brilliant, so he picks up teaching. But as his students continue to struggle, it dawns on him that for all of his intellect he will never be a good teacher. He lacks, he realizes, “the intelligence to simplify.” It turns out that biggest obstacle facing his students is him. 

I’m not always great at learning from his example, but it stuck with me. Complexity can inspire awe — but more often than not it just perpetuates confusion. The best missions, strategies, and even relationships are simple. 

The fact is, unless your job is to design corn mazes, spelling bees, or crossword puzzles, what everyone wants is straighter lines, fewer syllables, and shorter words. No one cheers the person who makes things inscrutable hard to understand. 

Let's talk about you. There are two possibilities.

It could be that you have nothing to offer — no skills, no talent, no prospects, and all of the doubts you harbor about yourself are pretty much true.

Or it could be that the world has deep needs that you are uniquely qualified to address. It could be that you were put on this earth to be the exact right key for a specific lock of change that will remain tightly shut without your part. It could be that you are the precise bit of effort needed to push the needle of change on the human condition a bit more towards justice, equality, and happiness.

Which is it?

Update: No one needs to hear you say you were right.

You probably were, and you probably saw it coming a mile away. Whatever it is — the big failure, the big success, the huge win, the huge obstacle — yep, you probably called it weeks ago. Whoa! You were way out in front of that one!

But the moments when you are most tempted to say “HA! I knew it!” are probably the moments when you most need to close your mouth, inhale your hubris, and slowly chew your words. You’ll have a bigger impact by saying, “Hey, how could anyone have known? We all did it. Let’s move forward together.

Thoughts from Impact 360!

The kick-butt Event 360 team!I just returned from Valencia, California, where I spent two very full days with our entire Event 360 team at Impact 360, our once-every-18-months-or-so all-team meeting. I’m finding it hard to describe the many thoughts I have rolling around in my head right now, but I thought I’d take a shot at a few of them. 

Here’s what I’m taking away.

  • Show is better than tell, and do is better than show. Even as the leader of an event fundraising company, I sometimes forget how powerful experiences can be. We spent a lot of time in activities and very little time in lectures. There’s just no substitute for something that is immersive and engaging. There’s no substitute for face-to-face interaction. How can you engage someone in a powerful conversation today?
  • “We” is more powerful than “I” or “you.” Our content was developed by a very large group of our team and our core activities involved literally everyone. There’s no doubt in my mind that this made our curriculum much more compelling. What are you doing that would be improved by someone else’s input? (Probably everything.) What can you do to involve them?
  • Your clients and partners can discuss your impact better than you can. It sounds risky to hand over your most important messages to people outside of your organization, but that is exactly what we did. Rather than talk about our accomplishments, we asked clients and partners to discuss it. In what had to be some of the best sessions we’ve ever conducted, we heard unscripted presentations and discussions about our role in other people’s growth. What could you ask your clients to do for you?
  • Not everything works, but trying everything is worth it. We wanted to create a comfortable and unique environment for our team, so among other things, we augmented the normal “chairs and table rounds” you find at a conference with yoga mats and medicine balls. The first day, the medicine balls were completely taken; by the last day, the thrill had worn off and almost every single ball rolled around empty. Still, it was a fun thing to try and a neat thing to do. What silly ideas have you been putting off? Could you implement one today?

I know I’ll have many more thoughts over the next few weeks, but I wanted to write a few today while the meeting was fresh in my mind. 

By far my biggest takeaway is that the Event 360 team absolutely rocks, and I’m nothing but proud and inspired to spend my time with a group of fun, driven, and idealistic world changers. How can we help you?

Hi, I'd like to have a really boring meeting with you today.

Can you imagine seeing this invitation in your inbox?

Subject: Hi, I’d like to have a really boring meeting with you today.

When: First thing in the morning (before you have a chance to think).

Duration: 10 minutes longer than I say it will last.

Notes: I’d like to get everyone together because I think I should. Or do you think I should? I can’t remember. In any case, we’ll half-heartedly shift through a variety of topics and try to make progress on passing the time, which is the only item we’ll actually be able to measure. Towards the end someone may bring up something vaguely controversial but we’ll all feel awkward and so it won’t get discussed. The great news is that the content will be so boring that even banal humor will sound hilarious, so bring a feeble joke and you’ll feel like you’re moderately interesting. Wish I wouldn’t be meeting you but I’ll see you there regardless.

If you got this invitation it would take you all of two seconds to press DELETE and move on. But the reality is that every day, most of us sit in meetings basically identical to this. And the harsher reality for me is that I actually run some of them! Ack.

I’ve read two things in the last day that have me thinking about my meetings, my work, and how to make both more effective. The first is Read This Before Our Next Meeting by Al Pittampalli. In this insightful, concise book, Pittamapalli basically asserts two things: 1) we’re all run by our meeting schedule, and 2) most meetings are shockingly ineffective, so much so that they risk paralyzing our work culture. Check and check.

His advice basically boils down to “Don’t point out a problem without proposing a solution.” He contends that most meetings can be dispensed with. In his model, the central purpose of an effective meeting should not be to “decide something,” which only leads to circular discussion, delay, and lack of accountability. Rather, a meeting should be used to present a decision to a problem in order to solicit criticisms of the proposed solution and input on how to implement it.

Pittampalli acknowledges that this approach requires the willingness to write memos (and the willingness to read them). And he spares “work sessions,” brainstorming discussions, and one-on-one conversations, which are at the center of his approach. But everything else — weekly status meetings, management meetings, team meetings, project meetings — gets the axe.

I like it, and I feel like I’ve read similar advice before. What really caught my eye in Pittampalli’s text was not his critique of meetings per se, but his emphasis on recapturing alone time to increase productivity. That second idea is core to a short article by Susan Cain in Friday’s New York Times passed on to me by my friend and colleague Jono Smith. (As always, you can find the link to Cain’s article — and Pittampalli’s book — in the “References” section at the top of this post.)

Writing of “The Rise of the New Groupthink,” Cain contends that the modern push towards collaboration is killing creativity and effectiveness, both of which require solitude to flourish. Unlike Pittampalli, Cain doesn’t spare brainstorming sessions, which she describes as “one of the worst possible ways to stimulate creativity.”

I absolutely loved Cain’s piece. It completely resonated with me and described something I’ve always had a hard time explaining about myself: Why that, for a moderately social person, I need quite a bit of down time to regenerate. My best work, whether it be strategic positioning, analytics, writing, composition, or anything else, always happens through long periods of solitary time punctuated by interesting conversations with people I trust and admire. And the meetings I do value are more like bull sessions than anything else. (I also share Cain’s disdain for brainstorming meetings. Put me in a room of more than a few people to “talk something through” or “come up with great ideas” and I start nodding off.)

Further, Cain puts her finger on a seeming contraction I’ve noticed in our firm. At first I thought it was an outgrowth of a distributed work environment, but now I see it as a larger dynamic in the modern workplace: Many of us simultaneously yearn for more collaboration and at the same time loudly complain about being shuffled into too many meetings. The two are obviously not the same, Cain points out — tight schedules are not the same as increased connectedness.

Taken together, I’ve found a powerful 2012 professional charter in the two articles: Reduce meaningless “group time” designed to either hem & haw about this & that or magically inspire camaraderie; and instead create more productive stretches of solitude for my team and myself.

I’m not sure that I can do it, but given that I’m trying to swear off skepticism, it’s worth a shot. Plus, I’m tired of hearing everyone complain about how they “have so many meetings they can’t get anything done.” That’s really one of the most idiotic things any of us could say about our work, and yet almost everyone I know says it all the time.

Enough’s enough! Never mind the boring meeting — it’s cancelled.