Originally posted on Facebook.
Well, this has turned into a bit of a longer post and I probably need to move it over to my blog. But since you're reading, here goes: After spending some time this morning on Facebook again sifting through the mess left in the wake of the insurrection at the Capitol and trying to politely correct the understanding of people who continue to resist the truth before our eyes, I have to say I have realized my patience for apologists and moral equivalences and explaining away hate is finally at absolute zero.
My willingness to sit in silence while people deliberately spread falsehood, whether they are doing it intentionally or unintentionally, is finally totally depleted. My good humor to listen to off-color comments, lewd remarks, and offensive jokes is gone. My ability to politely look away from bigotry, ignorance, and unkindness is on empty.
Oh, how I have wanted to not get to this point. Oh, how I have tried so much to work from a belief that there’s something uniting all of us. And I do believe that, still. But I see now that I need to embrace another method. I see now that I have to start by reinforcing the people who already care, rather than winning over the people who don’t. After 50 years of being a people-pleaser, my need to take on converting those who disagree with me is finally exhausted.
It is clear to me that in my well-meaning intention to build bridges and my well-meaning belief that we can all find common ground, I have sometimes neglected the very people who need hope the most — the people actually already working to create peace and harmony. And I have realized, by trying to reason with people who want to believe a Big Lie, or are in such a state of insecurity that they live in fear of the Other, I end up unintentionally legitimizing their distortions and prejudice. It doesn’t serve my goals anymore.
And so, I have deleted the misinformation and defensiveness that has been repeatedly posted in response to simply sharing a series of factual articles about the real, alarming rise of far-right white extremism and how it led to Wednesday’s attempted coup at the Capitol building — as apparently facts are even too much for some nowadays.
To those who disagree with me, I don’t need you to believe what I believe. But you can post your misinformation, distortions, and apologies on your own feed, and use it in your own life. By having a public Facebook page, I didn’t agree to let you use my name to spread your beliefs any more than you agreed to let me do the same.
This is a big shift for me and there’s probably more here for me to privately explore. But we are in crisis and I need to focus the remaining life and spirit I have on the light workers. “Peace is always possible” is what is on the top of my Facebook page. But right now I’m taking my marching orders from one of my favorite phrases and one of the mottos of Plenty: “Hope needs help.” I have to turn my attention to that.